Ladies, are you looking for a man? Having trouble finding that special someone?
Men, are you stymied by women’s steely Jedi Knight abilities to thwart your every move?
The Rosetta Stone of dating is revealed for all!
We discovered it outside a shiny, clubby looking place aptly named Friend-making clubhouse at half past eight, a Jiefang Lu outpost of a chain in Xi’an, China focused on…we’ll let you use your imagination on this one.
So here goes. These are direct quotes. Check the photo for proof. Oh, and for the record, Audrey’s favorites: #1 and #9. Dan’s favorites: #7 and #10.
Ten Secrets of Women Call
1. When you get a call from a man do not believe he just want to discuss some philosophy with his valuable time, however it is perfect to prove your charm.
2. Emphasizing this is nothing but a game, if you play the game try your best, it will make you happy, nevertheless, it will cost you a lot if you still serious for this game.
3. Man is apt to self-worth, so you can make he confused without any effort.f By the way this kind of people is interesting and dangerous. Be careful!
4. When you be enamored of someone, don’t receive his invitation but keep him at an arm’s length.
5. Don’t drunk before men’s invitation, because he may still invite you to have a drink. Don’t ask he pay a big bill that will make him unhappy.
6. Leave before you drank and don’t forget explain to you female partner.
7. When you plan to make a call to a lovely men, remember wear your glasses and breathe smooth with out gum. Come down.
8. When you get a ring please wait for others speak first because men like women who are mysterious.
9. Don’t believe what a man said in a call. The best way to understand him is talking with him after he drunk.
10. Don’t hung up the call rudely, if you don’t want to talk with him you can speak softly, ‘shit’.
Finding gross, ridiculous, absurd, hilarious, egregious, appalling abuses and misuses of the English language in China is akin to shooting fish in a barrel. But this one quite possibly takes the prize. In the Chinese government’s bid to clean up English signage prior to the Beijing Olympics in 2008, it looks like they are losing the war in Xi’an.